I can't take that much pain anymore.

            Hm. So let me get this over with. Firstly Assalamualaikum and hi to any of the readers. I just wanted to post this. Firstly, its not that I'm desperate, its not that I'm looking for attention... Sometimes you just can't handle so much pain by yourself right? 

            Let me ask you something. Have one of you have ever been gamed before? Or been cheated over? How about been played, left by someone that you once considered to have a life with, you would be anything for them, do anything to make em happy even for one minute? Or this -> When some guy are talking sweet things to you, you're thinking that should you reply it? You were thinking 'Is he playing you' or is he 'Gaming you' or is he just messing around? You wanted to reply the flirt back, but you are just too scared of taking the risk. You don't want him to be just another guy who played you because he was bored and he needed someone to mess around with.

            Let me tell you something. I have been cheated over, played, and been gamed before. I have never cheat over a person, I have never game anyone. I love that guy. He love to take pictures with me, hanging out at the park, hear my stories, he's tall, he's good looking and he love to do cute faces and makes me laugh. The conclusion is, he's like the 'prince charming' that I've always dreamed when I was a kid. There is one day, 6mnths ago. It was a sports day. I was in one of my bestfriend house. I was talking to her how he is so nice to me and I think I fell when I was in a relationship with him. I fell, very hard. For him. Then, my best-friend showed me her phone. She wanted to show me some songs. And yeah, every best-friend mestilah nak tau what is in it kan? So I checked her inbox. I was talking to her about how sweet her boyfriend was that time, and suddenly...

           I saw a text. From this one guy. Its one of my boyfriend's bestfriend. And it says ' Dia nak game je that girl, maybe about 3 mnths kot. Bagi dia rasa sikit how my friend rasa selama ni'. This text was seriously.... Bring me to tears. I cried really hard in that room, that same time. I was like, I tak boleh percaya this. This was not real and blablabla. I didn't even played his bestfriend. I loved him, but we are just not meant for eachother. That day was the hardest day for me. So I walked home. The destination takes about 15 minutes like that. I cried all the way home. Only that one text, ruined my whole life. I'm scared to fall for someone else. Because I know, it hurts. So much. When you know that you are loving him with all your heart, turns out that, that person doesn't really love you. At all.

             It been 6 months, since that Incident. Trust me, it still hurts now. Eventho everything was not real, It was still a fairytale for me. But yeah, it just ended terribly. So girls, please choose the right boy. I'm sharing this because I don't want any girl to feel what I felt. I can't stop crying for a whole month. Until now. Please, just choose the right boy and don't you ever took relationships so seriously. 


And this is mainly the reason why I have trust issues. Even with my own best-friend.